two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
