He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize