Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
