I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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