is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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