i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
