I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
im calling her cock vulture from now on
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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