Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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