I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
