I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
