But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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