the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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