i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
