you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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