so that wasnt chicken after all
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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