based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
