One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
