I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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