You really coming over, don't trick.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
