How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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