He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
