Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
