If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
