So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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