I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
operation harelip BJ is a go
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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