She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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