I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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