I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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