yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize