Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
