It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you win again, gameday.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
