dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
