We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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