He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
