The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
