I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
