We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
