My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Do vagina's smell?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
