erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
