We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
