He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
