Your dad touched me again.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
