I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
As shirtless as possible
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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