Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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