sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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