she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
