A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
