dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I want to fling myself into the sun
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
