I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
