wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We talked him into tasing himself.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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