Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
