I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
