Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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