Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
