i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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