its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
