I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
