whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
