I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize