Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
