i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
