I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
