How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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