Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.

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(303): View more from Colorado

There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat

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(248): View more from Michigan

On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

whose shirt was i wearing?

(203): View more from Connecticut

his little sister's

(860): View more from Connecticut

what was she wearing

(203): View more from Connecticut

a feather boa and 6 inch heels

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